Saturday, January 24, 2009

Recovery???


I can't say that we are recovering well. We will never be the same. Right now is super hard and today I had 3 adult helpers! But each day is getting better. I remember my doc saying that the first time, when I had Ivan. I think he was meaning the physical part of recovery, but now I'm seeing that the emotional part is just a big a factor in the process. Physically, this recovery has been much easier, except for the fact that Emora is so far my worst sleeper- as in she is not sleeping at all, or not at all at night. So far, every night, she has a 3 hour sleep, then she is up every hour on the hour and nursing 20 min. in that hour. I woke up at my end today trying to figure out what her problem is. In desperation, we purchased a space heater and pacifiers today. The space heater because our room gets really cold. Last night, I got it to where I could transfer Emora to her bed without problems and she'd sleep 20 or 30 min. then wake up and only fall back asleep with nursing. At one point, she took one suck and fell back asleep- she was so tired. I've never been one for pacifiers and neither Ivan or Dominique did them, but I can not survive nights like we've had indefinitely, or even one more night, so if the heater doesn't help, I'll be opening up the pack of pacifiers, sterilizing them and thinking that maybe Emora sucked her fist for the last 9 months and why break her habit now, right when she got here?

Ivan is being a total beast right now. He was great with Dominique, but he was not quite 2 then. Now he is having a hard time with the transition, plus the grands are here, so he may be putting on a show for them too, because when it's just me and the kids, he can be very helpful and considerate- at least that is what I hope, because my great helps will soon be gone and it will be me and the threesome! This is the kid's before picture. Ivan the beast, Emora wondering what is the problem with him and Dominique praying for Ivan's return to civility.

That all makes our recovery seem grueling and it can be. It is also wonderful, because who wants to recover? We are totally in love with our new daughter and them with their sister (here they are again after we told Ivan to change his attitude and that he wouldn't get pizza if he would not cooperate for pictures).

You may not believe me, because a lot of people claim that newborns can not smile or laugh, or attribute it just to gas. Whatever. Emora laughed her first night in the hospital and I wondered if I was hearing right. Then, yesterday, she smiled in her sleep, laughed, then smiled some more, full smile, half smile and full smile again. I am not exagerating. It was amazing.

Ivan and Dominique looked the same at birth, down to matching angel kisses/stork bites between their brows. Nana and grandma Ruth were here for Ivan's birth, so this visit is reminiscent of then, but Emora is all her own. She seems darker and has a cleft in her chin. She does have silky, black, straight hair that curls up when wet, but the others did too and theirs' changed as they got older, so I'm not sure what her's will be like.

So I'm glad we will never recover. I'm glad we will never be the same. I'm glad we are now a 5some and excited to see who all Emora will be and how we will grow in love and depth as a family because of her place in our lives. I am also hopeful to recover some sleep, sanity and semblance of routine or order or something like organized, graceful chaos with a smattering of creativity that energizes us and leaves us grateful for each day and moment, even those at 3 and 4, 5 and 6 and 2 am.

8 comments:

Madame Angela Baggett said...

oh yeah, Brian was out getting the pizzas while Emora was awake and we took the pictures. We weren't leaving him out of them on purpose.

Katie said...

Good luck!! I know that our first few nights were ROUGH. I hope and pray that yours get better! Hang in there! :)

trish said...

Nash was my worst sleeper, maybe it is the third child? I pray that you be as rested as any new mother can be. I speak peace over the lovely little light in your home. I miss you guys already, I will be available for back up when the grands are gone. Kiss the Ivan and Dominique for me and of course Emora.

Ian said...

Your comments on the second picture made me laugh out loud since they seem so apropos. I'll be sad for you (but glad for me) that your mom will soon be coming home. Maureen F. and Pat H. send their congratulations.

Russell Willerton said...

Angela and Brian, your children are beautiful. Heartfelt congratulations and blessings to you all from our little corner of Boise.

Davis Family said...

Oh my goodness - Mari wouldn't sleep at all either - in fact even now I can rarely move her from sleeping after nursing to another location for a bit of a nap. But it is rare. We gave up early and she has been sleeping beside me from the start. I held her at first because I was so afraid for her safety - now I just sleep really lightly.
I will pray that Emora will be kinder to you than that!!
Just sleep little one!
God Bless you all.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations!
Great name!

We had similar sleep issues with #3. We did use a pacifier some (we didn't with the first two.) What helped us the most was a very tight swaddle - including arms.
You may already be doing this but I wanted to share this because it helped us so much.

Jan Kelley said...

Bless you, dear one. I hope things are easier by now. Savor these times for they will fly by. I will pray for you. I remember how tired one gets in the beginning. This lack of sleep will disappear when Emora leaves home to go to college. Life is good.