They are easier to detect after the fact. They are uncanny encounters, brushes with the supernatural, where the presence of the Lover accompanies us in a very real way, sheltering, directing, loving, moving, giving life to our everyday existence. You can't totally explain the experience, but you leave shaken to the very depths, knowing that you have been kissed by the Divine.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
I woke up Mother's Day to Ivan asking if I wanted breakfast yet. I thought I smelled burnt toast. I shoved my feelings of guilt to the side as I requested 30 more minutes of sleep. 5 minutes later he asked again if I was ready for breakfast, and I asked for another 10 min. I made my way out and found 3 bouncy excited children and a bowl of cereal on the table. I hoped they had kept the cat away from it. The school kids had made gifts at school and they'd written me notes and gotten me chocolates and teas. The best was their joy to tell me they loved me, the hugs and kisses.
Now, I am earning my "mother" title. Ivan is sick and he's the worst sick kid! We are trying to dredge up lots of compassion as he sits there moaning, but he refuses anything we offer to help him (like medicine) and wants to just moan in our presence. I thought of writing a letter of apology now to his future wife as an apology and also a declaration- sorry I've done my time, it's your turn!
At the same time, I am thankful for who he is and thankful he isn't severely sick. So many friends and family have battled scary illnesses and even death over their kids and I'm always reminded that we are so very blessed to be healthy. We are very rarely sick at all and I'm so thankful that it's not often or severe.
Plus, so privileged- if he gets worse or doesn't improve shortly, I can get him in to the doctor easily and quickly- no more 2 hour waits!! and it's paid for! Amazing really. So I can't complain, no matter how loudly he does. Poor guy. On the plus side, we did get to read a lot and snuggle today- while his sisters played together. We had to miss Emora's library program, but she's had a runny nose too and I'm hoping time home will help that clear in her too. She played hard with Dominique today, but I may be able to have her take a nap tomorrow. Yesterday we went to the beach with a friend and Emora ended up having a nap for nearly 3 hours, so she may be fighting something too.
What do you like when you are feeling sick? to be left alone or to be babied? any special tricks that give you comfort? I made him orange juice, because mom used to make me hot rum toddies and that always made me feel so good, but I don't have rum around and so I just gave him orange juice. He told me it tastes like puke! Yep, there you have it. He's a bad sick person I tell you! I did make him apple juice (but he didn't drink much) and he's been enjoying vanilla milk. Trying to get fluids into him is almost as bad as trying to get medicine in him (that's not a pretty sight either). This boy is so fortunate he hasn't had to endure anything painful. Of course, he is very cautious by nature, so maybe that is partly why- he doesn't want to risk having pain.