You can tell that both Myka and Ivan are only children, so far. They both have areas of their personalities that cause conflict when they are together. Don't get me wrong, they love playing together and imitating each other. Myka squeels, Ivan squeels. Ivan flaps his arms, Myka flaps hers. Very cute really. Not so cute are the other times... Myka is sensitive. She doesn't like Ivan to look at her wrong (like, "I want to take your milk now") or take her things or pull at her. Ivan can be a bully. He wants whatever she picks up (including her sippy cup) and sometimes he hurts her feelings or pulls at her or pats her on the head (I wouldn't like that either).
This is not a good combination if you want peaceful relations, but it is good training ground. Myka is learning that she doesn't have to cry over little things. I can look at her and tell her it's not something to cry about and I can see her gathering up her inner resolve to get over it. Then I distract her and boom, her smiling face bursts into the scene. Ivan is also learning to share and have compassion. He grabbed her sleeve the other day, which made her cry, and as I was comforting her, he came over and gave her a hug too. We've added, "I'm sorry" to our vocabulary to learn.
I can see that they are learning critical skills for the day when they will both be older siblings and for the days of school and other social situations. I'm learning and beeing stretched too. Some behaviors annoy me more than others and this is showing me my personality and value systems that often need rearranging. I'm learning to try to be fair and nurturing to the tune of each of their idiosyncracies. It's not always easy. Ivan only listens to sterness, but this upsets Myka who easily and readily stops if I calmly tell her "no". I've learnt to try to give her her milk when Ivan is not in the room.
Of course the biggest lesson is that no one is perfect, that I have as much to learn and improve on as they do and that children are making me a better person, more aware, more attentive and more understanding (well, on my good days anyways!)
5 comments:
Totaly cute pictures you have there. Those two are getting along great, even though Ivan is a bit bully. But...isn't that every boy?
You are better about writing about Myka than I am lately. Such a cute story! Thank you for sharing and I love the photos. :) Thank you!
Well, between work, CHILDREN and husband, I wouldn't expect you to write everyday. Besides, this is my chill space and when I see these connections, it helps me if I write about it, ponder and learn from it. Otherwise the instants fly me by. I know that Myka is helping me already getting ready for #2 as I see Ivan and her interact. I have to figure out how to handle their diverse issues and realize how to bring out their potential in their own style.
Sounds like you are learning some valuable lessons about parenting and about yourself...both very important skills to have! You are doing a great job and Ivan, Baby #2 and Myka are all blessed to have you in their lives!!!
Great pictures!
Great friends and buddies!
Just a little give and take.
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