We're back!

I know we went for a funeral, but we actually had a really good time. There are several reasons for this, but before I pick on the Baggetts, let me note that this is my third grandfather funeral and there was the same atmosphere with all of them. I was not close to either of my grandfathers in an emotional sense. Due to physical distance with one and psychological distance with the other (he had alzheirmer's disease). They all lived long lives. The funeral was a time to remember their lives, the good, the bad and the funny, but more importantly, the funerals brought family together, often times, long overdue reunions.

When mom's dad died, we were all drawn together over great distances. We shared in the sorrow and we heard stories never before uttered (at least in us grandkid's presence). When dad's dad passed, all the siblings were joined and relationships were rekindled. Again, stories were shared and us grandkids got to hear perspectives we never knew existed.

The same happened with Brian's grandfather's passing. We are not sure why, but once upon a time, during GG Baggett's life, a shift occured from going to and participating in family reunions to shutting people out. To me and to Brian, his family was very much an unknown mystery. We made efforts since having Ivan to go and visit GG Baggett, but old habits are hard to break and while he warmed up some to me and even more so to Ivan, he had a hard time connecting with his grandson and his grandson with him. This was Brian's first remembered reunion of sorts. He met a great uncle and aunts he has never met or has no recollections of and cousins he never really knew about. He said he's never seen so many Baggetts in his life and it was exciting to know that he was part of a bigger picture. Speaking of pictures, I thought this was funny. Look at the effect Ivan had on the shoot when he was added. So true in life, children make it messier, less orderly, but more fun, more social and inviting.



We were very pleasantly surprised to discover that GG Baggett's three remaining siblings are very open and vibrant, lavishing compliments on us and invites to go see them, which we are hoping to do. GG Baggett was part of a family with 4 siblings, 2 born earlier, then two later additions. Ironically, GG Baggett also had two children, then waited 12 years before having 2 more. We have contemplated having 4 kids too, but I don't think we'll be continuing the tradition of a big gap between the them!






We really enjoyed getting to know Brian's aunt Linda and her husband. She is Grandpa Ray's closer sibling, as they are only a year apart. We hung out with them a lot. Brian has fond memories of getting together with his aunt's family growing up and felt that this time opened a door for greater involvement with each other.

Maybe funerals help us realize that we can't take each other for granted, that life is fleeting and time can not be retrieved. We also feel as though a cloud of reservation and restrainment was lifted with GG Baggett's passing, allowing for freer relations perhaps. We are extremely excited over the great privilege and honor the siblings gave Brian of documenting the family in photos on the web. They generously handed over a big box of old pictures which is what Brian loves (he even looks at old pictures in antique shops of people he doesn't know). He's always loved pictures, picture taking and history, and he now has on loan a treasure trove to display for the family. We feel this will bring us even closer to the family and help link each of them with each other. One of the oldest pictures is over 100 years old and features Brian's great grandmother as a baby with her mom in the background!!

The Marble Falls area of Texas is also very beautiful, giving us much needed respite from our drier Abilene. It is a retirement community huddled around a series of lakes. There were flowers blooming, green yards and quaint places as well as good restaurants.

So, how many hands does it take to hold a toddler during a funeral? It's a good thing for Ivan that our society excuses toddler behavior like: running on gravestones, shaking the funeral tent, running wild over graves and shouting "weeeee" down the roller-coaster like hills on the way to burry his great grandfather.