I had another "aha" moment, one of those spectacular times in life when you realize something that goes beyond the surface. The moment emerged as I received comments regarding this blog and is intrisically entwined in your reading.
Sometime during highschool, I discovered the joy and art of weaving words and content into successful papers. To me this was a very rewarding game. While I may have pleased or impressed teachers, my joy came from the fun of creating and knowing that I had written something excellent. The only thing I can compare the experience to is painting. When you have finished a work of art, you know it is done and a deep satisfaction wells up from its beautiful completeness. Except painting takes WAY more work for me than writing. Sentences can be spun out in fractions of time (and I like end products), whereas painting takes me forever (and I don't have much patience, which is probably why I should paint more!). It wasn't until this blog that I found some worthwhile purpose for writing. I mean, well written papers can get you a good grade, leading to a good letter for a class and eventually a degree, but so what?! How many MILLIONS of papers have been written over the years? I can just imagine the mounds of student work, some stunning, others lamentable, all sitting in the hallways of time collecting dust. The real worth of a paper or project is in what it teaches the student, not in what it shows the teacher.
I know the business world does not value your opinion of my writing to a high degree. You are most likely a relative, a friend or a friend of a friend. You could not be a reference for my resume, because your thoughts are of course biased. And not only are you be biased towards me, but my main subject matter (Ivan) gives me a decided edge over all the other bloggers out there. I mean, he is irrisistably cute, funny, handsome, developing, growing and gaining new skills as fast as our entertainment geared heads desire and he's many of your's grandson.
But there is no one to whom I would rather bring delight.
For the first time in my life, I can see that what I write and even how I write it matters to more than just me. If I can bring you even a small measure of joy, I am delighted. If I can share my heart and soul with you, I am enriched. If I can give you a glimpse of the miracle of our lives and motherhood, I am enthralled. If I can somehow express what a divine experience it is to know, love and take part in Ivan's life as his parent, then I have been given a gift to share pleasures from eternity. Perhaps by reading and thus sharing in our lives, you are allowed a chance to slow down, reflect and breathe in of Life's goodness. Ironically, I've never been one to journal much, but perhaps the fun of this unseen audience and this new medium has brought the impetus for reflection, pausing and drinking in Life's richness. We all win! You enjoy it, I enjoy it and most importantly it gives us the chance to grasp the incredible moments before they flit away with time.
So, thanks.
4 comments:
I agree with you on many levels. I wrote such amazing term papers when I was in university. They were so good in fact, that if I read them today, I can't understand half of what I said!
I really enjoy reading about your success and not-as-successful moments with Ivan. I fear that when I finally get to meet him I'll run up to him to give him a hug, and he'll run away screaming from this "crazy lady" that he doesn't even know!
This edition has created an AHA moment for me, causing me to evaluate my obsession to check several times a day to see if there is a new entry.
The hook was, of course, all the pictures of Ivan, but the obsession was germinated by the interestingly woven narrative and thought provoking commentary
of the writer.
Todays blog has made realize that there is something subtle at work on me that is even more influential at cementing this obsession. I don't have a good name for it yet. The best I can do is, it's my daily dose of "stop and smell the roses". It's not political commentary or news updates, which I thought I needed. This is much deeper and more important to keeping a grip on reality. A slice of real life. Who will be the next supreme court justice/ a child developing, discovering joy in things we've long forgotten. Which would God have us dwell on.
This is the other side of the scale for me. Balance against angst. A daily reality check. I would read it even if I didn't know Ivan or his parents. Thank you for writing this blog. Thank God for blessing you with this talent.
You Angela that I am on the other side of the world. If it was not for the internet I wouldn't know as much about you, Brian and Ivan as I do now. It is great to use this medium to show your love for your son.
It encourages me everytime I read a new blog. There is a lot of stressful moments in my life right now. But when I read this I can settle down and relax and just enjoy life as its best.
Being fare away from people you love is hard on everyone. And so this blog and writing brings be just a little bit closer to you.
Thank you so much!
Reflections in time are priceless and a legacy that Ivan will cherish.
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