Lengthy short walks with Mr Environmentalist

A friend of Jennifer's posted this bookmark about community building that I thought was really good (click on it to enlarge). The only thing it didn't list was in order to build community 1) get a dog 2) have a baby. Have you noticed if you are walking with a dog or child, people feel much more open to talk? Or perhaps you are even more comfortable talking with someone with a pet or child. There is something about that added life that makes us want to connect with their realm. I have noticed drastic changes in our mini walks around the block from Ivan's pre-walking days to now.

Before Ivan could walk, we often took him in a stroller around the block. This would transform a most upset child into a serene angelic creature that amazed the neighbors. We often chatted with people on the way and noticed the houses, changes to yards... Even with all that it would take only 15 minutes at most and we would walk more elsewhere or take our peacefully sleeping baby home.

Now, walking has become a big ordeal. Take our walk of a couple of days ago... It included: 3 mini conversations with neighbors, two of which stopped specifically to greet Ivan and (oh, yeah) the parent, 3 sticks to sweep the ground with as mom said "please, come on, I'm leaving, Let's go", about 50 pieces of trash, barking contests between Ivan and every dog he spotted, about 15 kisses to the neighborhood cat who followed us until she found some spilled pancake mix, three times chasing Ivan down as he ambled into people's yards to get more trash, 2 little battles trying to get him to hold my hand as we crossed the street, one conversation as Ivan wanted to visit Big buddy Griffin who is not home, but in the hospital, another to convince him to leave the toy in the neighbor's yard and not play anymore, about 10 pecans, an hour of time to "walk" past the 50 houses, about 10 minutes of that separating trash from minute pieces of leaves or grass, which Ivan is very careful to leave on the lawn. I don't notice the yards much anymore apart from seeing trash, glass or other hazards, but Ivan is very proud of himself for all the work he has done, picking up garbage and sweeping the ground, exploring his surroundings and making all the animals know they are not missed either. I gain a satisfaction as well as I notice our cleaner street, knowing that that trash will never again have to be picked up or marr our landscape. At the end, we get a good hand washing.

Help!!!

I hate to tell an expectant mom this (and I don't), but delivery is not the hardest part! I know the expectant mom gets more and more anxious as she contemplates her increasing abdomen all the well knowing that this bowling ball sized baby has to come out of a not so big exit, but labor is fleeting. It comes, then goes and the joy and excitement of holding her newborn does funny things to the memory, all but canceling what a struggle it was to bring about the birth. The proof of this fact is that she will go through it all again, with joy, to hold a new little child.

Other things do not go away quite so easily because you have to do them again and again. How many times do I have to "explain" to Ivan that the dog does not like being hit in the head with her bone, that the cat does not want her hug to be followed with a yank of her tail and that hitting mom in the face in the morning is not exactly good wake up protocol, it really starts off the day all wrong! Not to mention all the more difficult parts of watching him fall and hurt himself, having to discipline him or knowing that his feelings are going to be hurt. Then there are the not so fun wrestling matches.



Today we fought over long hair with some sharp scissors and clippers. This is extremely nerve racking. Here is this tiny, precious bundle of life, acting like he is being electrocuted as I try to trim around his ears. The goal quickly becomes getting the hair shorter and not too badly butchered as opposed to the original goal of a straight and beautifully executed cut. I really don't see why toddlers hair shouldn't just grow to a nice length and then stop growing until he will cooperate with a cut more readily.






Here are some before and after pics, along with some of our hair cutting tactics. I cut his hair while he squirmed in his high chair. We put the tray on and gave him books, a play phone (I think he was dialing 9-1-1 or grandparents) and his favorite... dominoes. The dominoes worked good, but once all the hair started blanketing and irritating him, we had to move to more offensive tactics like holding him down against his will.



We all decided that while the cut is not perfect, we'd all had a good enough workout on our nerves, arms and attitudes and it was time to make a truce. He enjoyed his bath after and is not tugging at his long hair any more, because it's not there! I'm sad to see his curls go, but they would only emerge after a bath and never stayed until the light of day. Expecting a girl also took the edge off the cutting of the beautiful locks since she will surely have hair the same or curlier than Ivans.



Before you give your opinion on this, I should also explain that Ivan is folically challenged in the front. I have never cut any hair off the front. It doesn't seem to grow or fill out and he has a long forehead, so I haven't wanted to make it any shorter there yet. Just the sides and back have needed trimming so far.

The world unfurling

Maybe I'll get a reader yet! I didn't like reading as a child. I remember my parents reading to me and dad doing voices, but to read on my own was not an exciting idea, until I reached middle school. By highschool, my parents were telling me I couldn't bring a novel to the dinner table and I studied litterature in college, so I guess I was a late reading bloomer. Due to this progression, I have not been overly concerned about Ivan's disinterest in books- well I should say in reading. He's actually very interested in books. He's interested in chewing on them, flipping the pages, throwing them on the floor to see them bounce, pulling them off bookshelves... but not interested in spending more than 1/2 second on a page. I had read while pregnant that if you read the same book out loud everyday, it will be the baby's favorite book after birth. Apparently this is true. I've been reading "God created me too" since pregnancy and almost every night since. Recently, Ivan has started to pull it out at bedtime and even other books, but I have to shorten them. Instead of talking about the stars, trees, fish, wildlife and oceans... "God created me too" has now become a spot the dog or cat book. Ironically, there is one of these on about each page, so we open it and Ivan says- daw, may, daw, daw, may, fh ("fh" is for the one page with fish, a high pitched "may" means cat), then closes it. Then on to the next book, about all the different animals saying goodnight. This one is read even faster, Ivan flips through all the pages until he finds the dogs and says- daw. He'll flip a few more pages, get disinterested, go back to the dog and repeat- daw.

However, today, he surprised me. He has been becoming more and more attentive at toddler reading time at the library. I think not bringing the diaper bags helped. He listened the whole time and even ventured to do a couple of the actions, but not near as many as he does at home. I think he's a bit shy about all the people or maybe with such a structured agenda.

He went wild at the park the other day. A couple of days ago, we were with older kids and he noticed how they could climb on everything. So when I took him and Myka by myself yesterday, he figured he should do it all himself, even though the bars were taller than him, he wanted to climb them. It was a weird balancing act in many ways. Emotionally and verbally, I was urging him to try new challenges, climb through and over and on, but then it was YIKES, can he do that? Physically, I had to grab Myka and chase down Ivan before he hurt himself. At my most scarriest and proudest moment, I had to maneover around the entire playground to get to the end of a tunnel and help him out, only when I got there, he'd already turned back. By the time I located him, all I saw was the top of his body going down the tallest slide he's been on yet. He managed to get down on his own! This was most excellent, because only moments before, when I was beside him, he tripped at the top of a slide and I had to catch him as he face planted into the slide's side. Another moment of tears was when he tried to walk off a two foot high step. Other moments of terror included the myriad times he would walk off either toward a hill (which descended to a small stream) or to the parking lot. I had always assumed that kids wanted to be within sight of their parent. May it be known, I was wrong and it takes less time than reading our two word pages to loose him in a library or other crazy place we think it would be fun to take our child. I had always thought the park was so cool, but when I took Ivan the other day, all I could think of was how incredibly HUGE it was. It was as if someone had increased it's dimensions 100 times! And with each step, each new slide, each bit of learning, or new book, it becomes smaller, more understandable and attainable, but not any less of an adventure.

Sweet sounds from the recording "studio"

I figured since you all got to hear him say "da", you should get to hear him say "mom" too. This was easier said than done! I tried Brian's trick and it didn't work until the very end, which is the first snippet you hear. The next little sound clip, I was showing him a picture of me to which he usually says "momma", but today decided to say "I don't know", listen close, it's a little blurry sounding, like a teenager's reply!

I've been wanting to get a recording of some of his freestyle babble, but he's too fascinated with the camera, so I'll have to try a different recorder or something.

Chewy nuggets, vol.3

Don't ask me what potty training and ear infections have in common, but ever since Ivan's ear infections (which he has long recovered from) he won't use the potty. Up until then, he was doing great, now he cries when I take him to it or suggest it, so our executive decision is to give him a break and retry in another month or so (maybe with bribes). This is just another of those parenting things where you have to fly by the seat of that little nudging in your soul saying this may be a good way through this dilemna.

I've heard a lot of people say that they wished there was a manual on our kids and parenting. But I can honestly say, that I enjoy not having a clue. I read some and observe others or hear their ideas and often those help, but in the end it really comes down to communing with Father Love. When my day is absolutely horrendous, I turn to him, and like a good mom with a cranky child, he makes the situation come out better, or changes my attitude by showing me something good, or gives me chocolate. Often, I've felt the nudge that has helped us narrowly miss catastrophes. I've heard the call to chill out, just relax, give it over and these have made all the difference in the world.

I exercise with a group of pregnant women and they often have fears and worries. We all do really, but why let them dictate our lives? One friend is so worried that her firstborn will not cooperate to show if it's a boy or girl and both she and her husband really want a girl. I'm glad we found out, but it won't make a difference in the end if you know or not. I figure, if you know, OK and enjoy, if not, let the adventure begin and enjoy that too! I don't think we are accidents or that our days are. If we have a bad day, (week, month, year), the least we can do is learn from it, go to sleep and wake up the next day to see what it's newness will bring.

I've learnt so much from my older (one in his 60s and one in his 80s) friends. One is homeless, an orphan, he has nothing. OK, a tent and some tarps and yesterday he bought a toothbrush. It's been cold and rainy and he usually never gets 3 meals a day, but he is the most pleasant, serving, peaceful, giving person I've ever met. And he loves and enjoys life! The other is in constant pain, often at the mercy of others, currently in the hospital, and while he will criticize (the food tastes like mud apparently) he is upbeat, cracking jokes, taking everything in stride. Now that I think of it, both these friends know Father love intimately, maybe He gave them chocolate today ;)

My point is that there is something envigorating in the dance of learning, hearing, not knowing and letting go. There is a strange empowerment in releasing control to someone greater and trusting that it will come out better than I had ever imagined. I love to read, but the fun is while I am reading, not knowing what will come next, discovering, being challenged, learning... Once the book is read, it's not as appealing, unless there is more to be discovered in it. It's the same with parenting. Part of it's beauty is in the discovery, the never ending realm of mushy unpredictable love that causes us to soar and fall and get up again, laugh, cry and know that we are alive, that we are human, because we fail and triumph all in the same step.

the Ivan funnies vol.12

I've hidden the fish food behind the couch, beyond the side table piled with warm throws. Apparently I haven't hidden it well enough! The morning I took this, Ivan managed for the first time to open the container and dumped what remained of the food on the carpet. Our dog was quite happy to lick it up. Good thing we had a new container of food already.


Ivan is all too happy to drink mommy and daddy's coffee, but since this is not exactly recommended toddler food, I've taken to making him his own special brew. Sometimes it's milk and cinnamon, this time it was milk and a little chocolate powder heated. Ivan is happily sporting his toddler "coffee" mustache!


A friend stayed with us over the weekend and entertained our pets and our son. Here he's getting a laundry basket ride. Later, Ivan gave a ride to the cat by pushing her in the basket, but she didn't enjoy it near as much as he did.


Ivan bundled up for our big cold front. It's been under freezing which is cold for us and according to Mr Griffin, who we were about to visit, not conditions for taking your child out. If he was in charge of affairs in Canada, no one would go out below freezing all winter!

Brian thinks I'm an anomily because I never go back to comments I've left to see if the writer answered. Apparently lots of people do this. So my question is: after leaving a comment, do you go back to see if you got a response?

She's a girl

Hugging our little girl!







We had our big sonogram with the sonogram specialist on his super-dooper sonogram machine. You could really see a lot on it. Of course, we were most interested in finding out that our next baby is a girl! I think Brian and I are getting better at seeing the images, because we both were seeing a girl before he told us she's a she. The specialist said she is definitely a girl and here's the proof! Poor girl, not even out of the womb and she's already flashed the world.




We saw her face beaming at us, her arms and feet waving and moving, the heart beat (156bpm), the inside of her head! Amazing! This picture is of her face from above and then from a more direct angle.










The first picture here is the heart beat and the second is the bottom of her darling little feet ;) It's so fun seeing the baby moving on the screen because she becomes so much more real to us. I guess in some ways seeing is believing! Ivan enjoyed watching the baby on the screen, then decided that he wanted to operate the sonogram himself, or at least get up on the recliner with his mommy. The doctor was very nice though and printed off a face picture just for big brother Ivan. I'm feeling lots of movement now, although she hasn't kicked hard enough for the daddy or brother to feel yet. Maybe by next month!

Weirdness thanks to technology

Ivan and I have experienced a really strange phenomenon lately. Discovering a mirror is one thing, but watching Ivan watch himself on the computer is totally weird! He found it quite intriguing too. We were watching a video of him feeding himself and he can hear and see himself and he hears and understands what I was saying on the recording. In the video, I ask him if he's going to get a drink, but as the reflected Ivan makes his decision, the watching Ivan is already looking at the cup on the screen as if to say, I'm going to get a drink, watch this! At another spot in the video, Ivan gets excited and starts bouncing up and down. At that point, Ivan imitates himself, so we've got two boucing Ivans!!! Told you it was weird!

I'm also realizing how much he knows and remembers. Tonight, I watched him do a series of movements, waving his arms in the air, reaching down to touch his toes, turning and "jumping". I was trying to figure out what he was doing, when I realized these were the actions to a song they do at tot time at the library. That was 4 days ago! Of course, he didn't do the actions along with the other kids at that time. I guess he was watching to figure it out so that he could practice later. I was just so amazed he remembered it! Maybe with the practicing he'll join in next time ;)