Last night, Ivan and I were looking through photo albums. We were looking at his baby pictures and he kept calling himself "maymay" (Dominique). I explained that the pictures were not Dominique, but baby Ivan. I got a little teary eyed though as I looked from the picture to my boy as I realized that I couldn't really see him as that little baby anymore. I know the pictures are of him on a head level. I remember him as a baby while I look at the pictures, but I could not correlate how I know Ivan now with my images of him as a baby. I couldn't go back and not imagine him walking, talking, helping... all that he is now. That's when I realized just how fleeting time is and how critical it is to enjoy each stage even as we welcome the person he is becoming.
I was relieved when we got to Dominique's pictures. Her birth is still fresh enough that I could see her as the infant she was and is, but I know this too shall pass some day.
1 comment:
I know that feeling all too well...now imagine how sad you will feel in 2 yrs from now when he is 4 yrs old and you send him off to preschool for the first time! It's aweful as well as exciting....this motherhood gig never seems to get any easier!
I had a similar experience a couple of weeks ago when Harrison and I sat down to watch the video of the day he was born. I used to remember what it felt like to have him move inside me. Now I look at him and think...how did he ever fit in there?! Oh yea...he wasn't always a 37 lbs 4 yr old! Hard to go back isn't it? Makes me sad too...that's why I need another one...soon!
Just hug them and love them every minute that you can...it's all we can do...until we can stop time!
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