I had another one of those "I'm amazed at life, unearthly, can you believe it?" moments the other day. You're probably not supposed to write this on a blog, but I was on what we now endearingly call the "potty" and Ivan was there, because he can always find me and now knows how to open the door, plus since we are hoping he'll learn to use the potty correctly (no sucess yet), we try not to keep him out in the hopes he'll see it as a grown up thing to do. Too graphic? Have kids! ha!
So anyways, that's where I was, which I mention because I find it funny to have these profound moments in the least profound of circumstances; I was looking at Ivan open and close and open and close the door, over and over, when it hit me. "I can't believe I have a kid!" I would like to know when and if this ever goes away or if I will get to the point when I see this life as normal or something. But it is still so surreal; especially when I think of how fast it is whizzing by, which only multiplied exponentially since having Ivan. People have told us repeatedly, until we almost tire of it, to take in all the moments, because it goes SO fast. Well, now I'm saying it. It really does seem like yesterday when we had him, and here we are about to have another precious bundle of love, laughter, joy and growth. And yet it is still so mystical and unbelievable to me.
I really can't explain it. His hugs, laughter, needs, tantrums, victories, sounds, smells, noises... are all real. I know I'm not dreaming it all, but this amazing experience of having a child (and even children- plural) is so far beyond me, my mind has trouble grasping hold of it. I live parenting everyday, if I'm ready to or not, and yet, being a kid, or high school memories, even college hold more of a ring of actuality to me than this totally otherworldly experience of watching a little being grow from this little image of a being with paddles for arms and feet waving and moving around, to holding this amazing composition of DNA, flesh, bone, hair, a living little baby, then watching him grow and learn and walk, eat, talk! It totally blows my mind.
8 comments:
That is what makes your blog insights so fascinating---- the pictures fit the stories and the way the whole thing fits together to make a whole just blows you away and the rest of us are along for the ride.
Thank you again, Angela, for sharing.
I thought that since you left a message on my blog I would return the favour. I wasn't the first to comment though. Who is gms?
Ivan always looks so happy and interested in everything; he shows such a spark of life. He is so fortunate to have such good parents!
Too bad that I haven't met him yet. It makes me feel sorry. But I know he knows of me, at least unconciously he does because all the chocolates are coming from Germany.
Oh boy, next Christmas the package needs to be bigger. Puh! I guess I need to start looking now. *g*
(BTW, he remindes me of my cousin who is about 5 years now. I haven't seen him since I went to the USA. That is 3 years ago. *tear* I hate it when I can't see people I really like and would like to spent time with.)
gms- I'm glad to share. I know you are all to far away to see the live version, so I figure the least I can do is give you a play by play, plus, I've told others, blogging about our life together also helps me to slow down and take it all in. Think of the big picture, marvel over the wonders and take time to inventory how it is going.
Dad- gms=grandma sue. Took a post or so for me to catch it too. And thanks for the compliment. We have to give glory where it is due, if we manage to get anything in this parenting "right" or excellent, it's because the Big Daddy is showing us the way, plus we've learned a thing or two in our growing up from our parents and others.
Andrea- the package doesn't necessarily have to be bigger! You'll make us all into blimps! We do love our tastes of Germany though ;) ummm, ummm as Ivan would say. I'm sorry you haven't gotten to see him yet too, but in time... ;) For what it's worth, my aunts, uncles and cousins haven't seen Ivan yet either!
Here I am nearly 4 yrs into it and it still blows my mind! Just enjoy every precious moment as they come! I think that's what parenting is all about....that is why it is so AWESOME...it leaves us in AWE!!!!
Andrea - you better make that package a little bigger.
And earlier.
More of those Mozart chocolates or any chocolate. Thank you.
Andrea- totally ignore what Brian says. He enjoys them, but I end up eating most anyways! Well, we share and divide up the rest so we don't eat it all at once! What a guy! And last year it was plenty early, we even got to do the calendar.
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