I've mentioned before that I'm not one who likes process, I enjoy the finished product, the arrival, the completion. I look forward to the projects I have not as much for the fun of making them as much as for the fun of having them done! I count down the arrival of our daughter, even the arrival of our sister and when the time does come, it goes so quick. It seems I will look forward to a visit home for months on end, then we are there so short of a time and poof, it's gone, time to leave! Same with children, everyone says they grow up so fast! I can only believe and know as I look at Ivan's quick year and a half. Here he is wearing his daddy's watch. I think it makes him look 10 years older. In fact, a few times, when I just saw his arm with the watch, I was warped to the past, as it looked like Andrew's arm as a pre-teen.
We planted flower seeds several days ago in the front and when we were done, I was strangely disappointed. It looked better and held the hope of beauty for the future, but other years we ALSO planted already flowering plants. You just plop those in or hang them up and instant beauty! I missed that and was disappointed that I'd have to wait. 4-6 weeks seemed like an eternity, when spring has so obviously come! I'm so silly though, I looked today and there were little plants popping up. How exciting! Would I even have noticed if we had pre-fab spring planted?
I'm ashamed to say that sometimes I look forward to Ivan's naps, so that I can have ME time and do what I want. Is this not absurd? I longed to know him for 9 months, then he's hear and I can't wait for him to sleep. What is this, the ME generation, INSTANT satisfaction guaranteed. Where is the adventure of growing, learning, loving? Forgive me for my selfishness, so ugly! It's hard to live in the moment. It seems we (personally and as a culture) are always looking to the next step... when will he say words, make sentences, swim... then, before we realize it, we're missing the babbling, the toddling and cooing! We waver between the past and the future, what about the present? Why is this time that is the most concrete so ellusive? What ways do you make yourself live in the now, seize the day and make the most of every moment?
5 comments:
This is your spell chequer:
You wrote ..."then he's hear and I can't wait for him to sleep"...
Is he that noisey?
I noticed that your dad didn't answer the ?s.
And neither did you!
How do we as individuals live in the moment?
The only way I can think of is to be truly present with all our senses, especially the mind, which is so hard to control. No past, no future, only NOW.
Any other thoughts?
dad- ha, that was a funny typo!
GMS- I didn't answer because I'm trying to figure it out still. I think you are right, that we have to be conscious and engage.
Nana- no problem, but I'll give you a hint, he's got a blog now. You can click on his name here in the comments section to go to it, or click on the sidebar of my blog homepage under family blogs- dad. I'm sure he'd like for you to visit too!
Well, sometimes I live a bit too much in the present.
I come home and sit down and write to friends in the other cities and write and write. And then I noticed that it is almost midnight and I have nothing done for my university classes.
Besides that I would say that you should try to grasp each moment as good as possible. It's gone really quick. *A month can be so short. sigh*
I've been meaning to write to say that your garden makes me anxious to get out into mine. However I don't dare plant anything until at least June. Nothing's worse than spending hours plating your garden only to have it dumped on by a late season snowfall.
I did plant (indoors of course) some Joshua Tree seeds 2 months ago. Jason said that it looks like I stuck a pine needle in a pot of dirt. At this rate it could take 30 more years to grow 1 foot!
Post a Comment