Ivan had his first encounter with a bully today. We were at the park and the bully was a year or two older than Ivan and bigger (of course). Wherever Ivan would go, the boy would stand in front of him, blocking his path, sometimes with a menacing look. At first Ivan would just yell at the boy: NO! I told Ivan that is not the way to talk to people (he says it all the time to Dominique and I'm trying to break him of it). Instead I suggested that he say: "excuse me please".
Whenever Ivan said this, the bully, who was still young enough to be moldable, moved out of the way. At times Ivan enjoyed playing with the boy and they did have some sweet moments, but then the bully would go back to his meaness. At one point I had to tell the boy to obey when Ivan asked him to move. At another point Ivan decided to skip the niceties and push him. Thankfully the bully didn't push back. Since we've been home, Ivan has been practicing saying: move please. 
I feel like this trip to the park was more learning than any trip we've ever made. It's a joy to see him learn to climb stairs or go down slides or how to walk over moving bridges, but how much more valuable to learn to exude confidence and kindness in the face of meaness and maybe even help a disturbed older kid find a better way than bullying through friendship.On a more fun note, Ivan, Dominique and Saba enjoy playing in the backyard. Ivan loves to wear his ballcaps, but manages to pull them down so low, he really can't see without tilting his head. He is constantly getting into his daddy's tools and yard supplies, but won't for much longer. A storage shed is half way done in our backyard, or maybe I should call it a little house, the thing is huge!
Hope you enjoy this clip and get a good laugh over it!
Do you have any advice on dealing with bullies? or a story to share?
3 comments:
Saba! Don't lick that baby. Ivan's really becoming a little man.
I have seen this too with Aidan, he doesn't seem to get it when the other kid doesn't follow the rules that he has been taught and he tries again and again getting very frustrated. Because of his size he doesn't get bullied much by primary kids but for the same reason he is a bit of a target when older kids are around as he looks older and acts younger.
I worry but then as you put it he needs to be able to be self confident and learn to deal with others.
Ohhhh Saba! She is so cute. You got to love her, taking care, making sure everyone is clean.
As for bullies: I can't really give an advice. It hasn't happen to me in a while. I think being polite at this stage is a good thing; and showing self confidence.
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