People down here are very skin-color conscious. It's like they are so into their individual heritages and since being a minority is the "in" thing, people cling to their chosen cultural realm. Then our family shows up and throws everyone for a loop. The kids are especially confused about it. Brian says I have the best of all worlds because I can easily blend into several crowds. People will accept me as black, hispanic or white, not that I would classify myself as any of those. I like to choose "other" on the questionaires (if they have it), or if I was writing the questionaire, I would put a box entitled: "who really cares? and if you do, why do you think that is? Please explain bellow" Kids here often ask what "I am" and therefore what Ivan "is". I've already had comments pertaining to our next child (ok, so it was from a socially deranged friend), but where did he get the prejudice? It's not from birth that's for sure.
Ivan loves everyone, except for a few male adults which freak the bejeebees out of him and we're not sure why- although he's probably in tune to something we don't pick up. He loves kids most of all, and now his shadow and of course animals. Basically, if it moves, he says "hi" or tries to communicate as that person does. At dinner, Big Buddy was chewing on his meat, but with his dentures, it was pretty noisy. So Ivan started imitating the smacking. He also likes to make smacking noises when Brian takes out a piece of gum. If someone coughs, Ivan also fake coughs. It's his way of communicating I guess. For that matter, he loves inanimate objects with faces too. He was carrying a cloth, toy bunny and giving it kisses and very upset with me for not letting it in the bath with him.
I guess while he doesn't discriminate based on color or culture, we will eventually have to teach him the social appropriateness of not kissing everyone. The other day at a store, a little girl came up to him and he leaned toward her saying "mmmmm". Her mom said he wanted to lay his head on her, but I said he was leaning in for a kiss (he was, that's his way of kissing). She made her daughter stay clear of us after that! Maybe the mom has already forgotten that beautiful innocence of a toddler who makes friends and loves so readily and quickly!
Myka's mom Jenni (see link on side-bar) and I have laughed about how well we could confuse people by hanging out together. When I take Ivan and Myka out, people assume Myka is mine because we have similar coloring. Ivan's skin tone is more like Jenni's. Both our kids adopted their daddy's coloring and demonstrate other attributes from their moms, that are more than skin deep!
4 comments:
Wow, it sounds a bit serious, I mean the prejudice. Here in Germany it's not so much about the colour but more about the East-West thing.
I like it that Ivan is so openminded. I am sure that he has that from you and Brian. Or it's because of your pets or because of whatever reason.
Aidan is still much like that I hate to change him. I'd rather change the world! People worry about safety so we talk to Aidan about not talking to strangers and he promptly walks up to strangers and telss them how he is learning not to talk to strangers, do they talk to strangers?
Sometimes we get funny looks usually laughter. One man yelled loudly then looked at me and said "Kids need to learn to be afraid of strangers." I thought that was sad.
Aidan will still kiss those he loves indiscriminantly male female young or old. Some have a hang up about this others don't.
To date he has proposed to 5 girls/women that I am aware of and sometimes he even asks their names. The latest was when leaving a restaraunt he saw a table of women celebrating a birthday. He asked who's birthday and then followed that with "Happy Birthday ... Will you Marry me?"
The ladies nearly died laughing. The waitress (16yrs old) at the corner coffee shop even accepted his proposal which made him very happy he then proceeded to ask her about her piercings and if they hurt then came back to the table and drank his AJ.
His sweetness I value over societies attitudes. Yesterday aura took him to visit a friend who just got home after a heart attack. Aidan gave her his Kangaroo and Joey that he was playing with "here, so you feel better"
Why would I want to change that?
A
As they say...ignorance is bliss! I think all children are born prejudice-free and it is the adults and society that create those averse reactions in us. I like to think of myself as open minded and do everything I can to teach Harrison the importance of loving and valuing everyone, no matter what their race or religion, or financial status etc. We are all equal, and just by being born human, we deserve respect, regardless of what sex we are, or what country we were born into. That is the most important lesson one can teach their child, and if we succeed in doing that, then we have already done a great job in raising a well-rounded, respectful adult, who is sure to contribute something positive to society (no matter how much trouble they are when they are toddlers or teens for that matter!)
Andrew- that is so beautiful, and I would not want to change it Aidan's social ways! I was just reading a blog in England where the guy was lamenting that people don't even talk to each other on the bus anymore and what a difference it could make to the word if we just said "hi". Although, I'm pretty outgoing, I've noticed that I've slacked off a lot and have decided to reinstore greetings to strangers. I think it makes people feel important and connected and sometimes you have a chance to really help a person.
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