Don't ask me what potty training and ear infections have in common, but ever since Ivan's ear infections (which he has long recovered from) he won't use the potty. Up until then, he was doing great, now he cries when I take him to it or suggest it, so our executive decision is to give him a break and retry in another month or so (maybe with bribes). This is just another of those parenting things where you have to fly by the seat of that little nudging in your soul saying this may be a good way through this dilemna.
I've heard a lot of people say that they wished there was a manual on our kids and parenting. But I can honestly say, that I enjoy not having a clue. I read some and observe others or hear their ideas and often those help, but in the end it really comes down to communing with Father Love. When my day is absolutely horrendous, I turn to him, and like a good mom with a cranky child, he makes the situation come out better, or changes my attitude by showing me something good, or gives me chocolate. Often, I've felt the nudge that has helped us narrowly miss catastrophes. I've heard the call to chill out, just relax, give it over and these have made all the difference in the world.
I exercise with a group of pregnant women and they often have fears and worries. We all do really, but why let them dictate our lives? One friend is so worried that her firstborn will not cooperate to show if it's a boy or girl and both she and her husband really want a girl. I'm glad we found out, but it won't make a difference in the end if you know or not. I figure, if you know, OK and enjoy, if not, let the adventure begin and enjoy that too! I don't think we are accidents or that our days are. If we have a bad day, (week, month, year), the least we can do is learn from it, go to sleep and wake up the next day to see what it's newness will bring.
I've learnt so much from my older (one in his 60s and one in his 80s) friends. One is homeless, an orphan, he has nothing. OK, a tent and some tarps and yesterday he bought a toothbrush. It's been cold and rainy and he usually never gets 3 meals a day, but he is the most pleasant, serving, peaceful, giving person I've ever met. And he loves and enjoys life! The other is in constant pain, often at the mercy of others, currently in the hospital, and while he will criticize (the food tastes like mud apparently) he is upbeat, cracking jokes, taking everything in stride. Now that I think of it, both these friends know Father love intimately, maybe He gave them chocolate today ;)
My point is that there is something envigorating in the dance of learning, hearing, not knowing and letting go. There is a strange empowerment in releasing control to someone greater and trusting that it will come out better than I had ever imagined. I love to read, but the fun is while I am reading, not knowing what will come next, discovering, being challenged, learning... Once the book is read, it's not as appealing, unless there is more to be discovered in it. It's the same with parenting. Part of it's beauty is in the discovery, the never ending realm of mushy unpredictable love that causes us to soar and fall and get up again, laugh, cry and know that we are alive, that we are human, because we fail and triumph all in the same step.
3 comments:
Fabulous advice for anyone really, but as a parent of a child who is certainly more of a challenge than the average bear, I take it to heart, and must admit I am still working on the "letting go" part! Maybe I'm too much of a control freak and that is why I struggle with parenting more than most people...when he's out of control I feel I've lost control and the downward spiral begins! Thanx for the help and I really do need to chill out and hand it over to a higher power more often. (although I have tried that more than once, but I don't think I can always hear His divine voice over the tantrums!!!) I'll be tuning in more with my heart next time! Keep usp the sage advice...it inspires me to be a better mom and person! Love you Ange!
mmmmmm that was a good chewy nugget this morning! it is so important to just give control to God. when i was pregnant with Max I was so nervous something would go wrong. my mother in law prayed for me one day that I wouldn't worry another day through the pregnancy. and I honestly didn't...not one bit. which was so not like me...but we just gave it to God and he took care of it.
Someone once shared with me that your children are at their best and also at their worst with their Moms.
They will do something special first for you but you will also be the main one to get the loudiest cries and worst tantrums. Through experience I've seen this to be very true.
We give and give and often they take and take and, hopefully, some day we will see the results and be able to say we did the best we could and they actually turned out to be their own best person, created in God's image.
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