Ivan is having a rough week. He got some vaccinations that I think he may be reacting to, plus he has a cold. Last night he didn't sleep, neither did I. OK, he had a nap from 9:30 to midnight and from then 'till 5am, we walked, bounced and were absolutely miserable. He was miserable in my arms and even worse when I didn't hold him. We both knew he was exhausted and he was truly trying to get comfortable and sleep, but it was like a kazillion caffeine stimulators were coursing through his little body. I even resorted to walking about 10 laps around our backyard, with him in a baby sling and both of us in our pyjamas. Everytime he dozed off and I tried to put him down, he woke screaming and desperate. So, we cuddled all night. We also cuddled Tues. and Wed. night.
I love him and as I said I love to cuddle, but so far over the last few days, my most heavenly moments were Thurs. night and my nap today, all by myself, in a cushy bed, with Ivan all by himself, asleep in his own bed.
I would not have it any other way. But I was surprised, knowing how much I love to cuddle, that after many days with a 23 pound appendage, the bed could feel so much better WITHOUT him! Along with wonderful hugs and cuddles, Ivan loves kisses.
Ivan's nightly rituals include bath time and night-night kisses. He says "mmmmmmmmmm" and puckers but doesn't do the lip smack, just touches his lips to a cheek.I loved hearing all the responses from my last question, so here's the next one. This one lends from the ideas of Gary Smalley, who wrote about 5 love languages. His theory is that everyone feels love by one primary "language". Think back over the years and tell me which of these made you feel the most loved...
-physical touch (hugs, massage, human contact...)
-receiving gifts
-words of affirmation (verbally or in notes)
-quality time with someone
-acts of service (someone doing something for you)
One useful lesson from these is that we usually assume others respond to the same aspect that we favor. Therefore if I feel loved when I get gifts, I'll tend to give others gifts to show them I love them (even if this doesn't affect them like it does me). So the trick is to find out which way our friends and family perceive love and try to communicate love to them in their favored way.
Find out my favored love language in comments and leave yours there too, then "accidentally" leave the screen up with your comment where your mate can read your answer! ha, ha ;)
9 comments:
That's a difficult one. I think I like the phiysical touch and gifts. In my family we give hugs and kisses a lot, nowadays more then ever because we don't see each other as much as we would love to.
I also like gifts, they don't need to be big, a small thing like a single flower or a card. (Your brother sent me a wonderful card for my birthday and that was the best.)
This leaving this sid up so my boyfriend can read it thing is not working....I wonder why. ;)
I almost forgot to write mine! If you didn't guess from the post, my favored "love language" is physical touch too!
I like to cuddle with Max and Steve...don't care for physical touch beyond that, I'm not a hugger. I don't like recieving gifts as an act of love because my dad would do that after "forgetting" or making up for something he'd done. So I don't put that with a sincere act of love.
I like spending time and sharing and talking or getting notes.
I'm not a very "touchy feely" type of person. I do like to receive gifts (who doesn't?)though. But also, I truly appreciate it when things are done. For example, if I was to come home to a clean house, clean and folded laundry, and fresh flowers, why that would make my day!
I love words...and my sweet spouse knows that. Every working day we make each other's lunches (act of service) and write a note for one another (words). I find that touch--I love hugs and cuddles too--is on the list but not the highest. Gifts are great but it is usually the thought put into it. Look at how long this is turning out to be--obviously I'm about words.
Touch, cuddle, touch, snuggle, touch, massage, touch, hug, touch, kiss...did I say touch?! I am definately a physical touch kind of person. From smothering Harrison in hugs all day long, to yearning for my partner to squeeze me in the tightest hugs all the time, to constantly reaching out to touch and pat the people I am having a conversation with. I seem to struggle with gifts, as I only feel guilty and embarassed receiving them, however I do enjoy giving gifts to others and find far more pleasure in that! I also love giving cards and little love letters to let the special people in my life know how much I appreciate them. And if along the way someone does an act of service for me in return...it's been a good day!!!!
Netts, you and I were cut from the same cookied cutter! I was going to mention how I am very awkward with gifts. Brian says I'm hard to buy for and I guess I am. I just don't like stuff much, but hugs, touching!!! My dad always gave us a good share of hugs and love, so Brian had a hard act to follow all by himself, but Ivan helps make up for it. It's hard for him to remember just to hold my hand or pat me on the shoulder or SOMETHING to give me my fix. He praises me all the time though, which I forget to do for him as much as he should receive it!
Oh Wow nothing like getting right to the heart of things. I don't think I am just one of those types. can you be more than one. I do love to hug and cuddle but am very reserved about who i give them to. they are endless when it comes to my girls but if it is with family and friends i tend to hold back on the hugs and kisses. I would not say gifts because they are so hard to give and to receive. i can be pretty picky, as nets would remember(i am not so rude though and have apologized to my mom)I love giving stuff but am so worried the person will not like it so hate picking them out. I think that i love words. Whenever i leave harley or jac i always tell them i love them. see again though this is with my girls. i am not overly lovey talk with my sisters. I am trying to say more. I love to give poems with sincere words but mostly i give gag cards. So maybe quality time. i love to go to both of my sisters houses and just be there. i dont necessarily have to talk with them (like now i am borrowing my sisters computer). i just like to be around them and know what is going on in there lives. This is a very long and extensive answer but i think the question needs that kind of answer. Although random acts of kindness go over great in my household. harley and i both have learned to do these types of things for one another. she loves to clean! (yes i have been blessed) i worked the election the other day and when i came home around 930 harley had cleaned the whole house. sothe next day i took her out for supper. so i dont know that i am one love. i like to mix things up a little. feb. 1
I think that time is our most precious commodity that can be used or abused for good or wasted so I would say that choosing to spend time with another, especially just listening, would be the greatest gift.
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