I haven't had a "chewy nugget" post in a long time, but the other day, I had one of those otherworldly, surreal moments where life just smacked me in the face. Dominique and I were goofing around and she was laughing (I believe she was jumping off my knees into my arms- we should have made her a built on helmet and knee pads when we gave her "Courage" as a middle name). As I gazed into her eyes, time seemed to stop. I felt that eternal youthful age that time seems to have frozen my sense of identity in and was utterly shocked and bewildered to realize that this little amazing being is "mine". Is it really possible? Do I have kids? Are these fascinating, loving, cheerful and challenging little beings actually an integral part of my existence? Where has time flown? How is it that I'm so privileged to have this life?
Children are amazing. They are not like a mate- who I chose and choose every day by staying with him, loving him, working together to make the family a wonderful experience. Children don't have a choice and while I had a choice to have them, there is no picking or determining of who will become "mine". They are a part of my life forever. There is no possibility of divorce, or change. I am and will forever be their mom, unlike anyone else in their life. They are and will forever be my children no matter how good or bad our relationship may turn (hopefully only good), it does not change the fact that they are integrally a part of my existence for always.
I told Ivan "pardon me" when I didn't hear him today which he misunderstood. He corrected me saying "part of me- daddy's a part of me". It dawned on me then that in a sense, Brian is more closely related to the kids than to me- they are blood related, but Brian and I are not at all linked in that way (thankfully). He and I share a totally awesome other relationship, but it's on a very different level.
So enough of my philosophying... here's Ivan in his youthful perspective.
In case you have a hard time hearing what he said after the point of:
"What do you like about being up?"
"umm cause I, I always go in my dream in whole life and always look at my tattoo and see things all around."
"that's great. what fun thing did you do today?"
"mumm... umm... some birds."
I just love how grown up he sounds and looks.
3 comments:
Those birds chirping do sound very cheerful. It is -7 C right now but not a time to sit on the lawn and sip on fruit juice.
I was curious and awake early, so I went back, back, back and, lo and behold, it was chewy nuggets #4 the last time you posted one on April 13, 2006 and it was on "Seize the Day".
I love it when you philosophize.
Your insights are delightful.
Looks like he is so much happier to healthy again. He does sound mature, and yet, he also is still a young boy learning language. Very cute!
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