Happy Mother's Day!

I remember this day. We had been to church that morning and had eaten lunch. My sister and I are wearing our comfy dresses with soft velvety material I liked to feel, so soft to the touch; two of the many dresses mom sewed for us over the years. We were relaxed and wanting to be near mom. There is something about moms that makes you want to sit in their laps or be wrapped in their arms. They are warm and soft and comforting. These feelings are amplified by a thousand when I was sick. Mom could always make me feel better by making things quieter, warmer or cooler, with her medical expertise and loving touch, and after a mean cool bath to decrease the fevers, a soothing hot rum tawdy.

Mom brings flavor into our lives in so many ways. I actually didn't know this until I became an adult and was asked what it was like growing up in a multi-cultural family. At the time I was studying cross-cultural communication and to be honest, I had never ever realized that our family was different; I mean apart from people always asking me what my "heritage" was. If I wanted to cut to the chase, I'd say "my mom is Jamaican", if I wanted to watch them squirm in all their political correctness and curiosity, I'd ask them what they meant, or say "I'm Canadian".

I do remember the first time I got a hint something was up. It was my 12th birthday and my friends were imitating the way mom called my name. They said they liked her accent, at which point I was shocked and said she didn't have an accent. After the friends were gone, I asked dad if mom had an accent, just to be sure. "You can't hear it?", he replied. Again, I was shocked. He said, "listen when she's on the phone with someone from Jamaica, it gets thicker". Well, I listened and I heard, sounds from an island, music from afar, beautiful lilting, melodies filled with spice and the caribean.

I started to discover mom had a whole other life before we came along when a Jamaican man asked to speak to Miss G. I started to tell him he had the wrong number, then thought what are the chances that this obviously Jamaican man would dial our number. So first I asked dad if he knew of a Miss G. He said, "I think that's your mom". I didn't think so, since I'd already asked the man if he was looking for a Ruth MacLeod or Williamson and he'd never heard of her, but I gave the phone to mom to see if she could make some sense of it all. To my surprise, mom was Miss G. and her first cousin had never known her real name Ruth! (In Jamaica, almost everyone goes by a "pet" name, or nickname).

I know I'm a different person because I've got a touch of island too and because mom will forever be Ruth AND mom AND Miss G. I also know that I'm so very much like her and that she is strong and courageous and fiercely loves her families, near and far.

I wonder if my children will also go though these life altering moments when they realize I am not who they always thought (ie. JUST mom). Maybe they too will see that I'm from another place, with sounds and tastes and attitudes a little different than Texas. Maybe they will glimpse hints of someone who loves seasons and snow, cultures and naturalness. Most of all though, I hope they know deep in them that I am for them, that I love them and will always be there. Just like with my mom. love you mom, Miss G. or whoever you are ;)

Special mention also goes to my mother-in-law who has received me like a daughter, who helped raise an amazing man that I love dearly and who pours love into my children (yes, both already). I'm so glad that I have never had to deal with any of those awful mother-in-law steriotypes. We may be totally different in myriad ways, but you have never let that get between us. You have danced with grace what I'm sure is a most difficult balance of being there and a part of things, while respecting our lives and ways. We love you and thank you for the mother, grandmother and mother-in-law you are, par excellence!